CrossCurrents A Catholic Reflects on Faith in Our Times

# 155                                                             Bernard F. Swain, Ph.D.    www.CrossCurrents.us

                         

Are the Youth Our future?

A couple of weeks ago I listened patiently while members of a parish council I work with waxed eloquent about the challenge of reaching out to the youth of their parish. ÒThe youth are our future,Ó they repeated one after another.  ÒWeÕve got to get them involved.Ó

Listening to these people, I was reminded of the middle- age father who walked into my office with a problem. His daughter had just turned eighteen, and after an entire childhood living with parents active and local parish, she was suddenly refusing to attend Mass.

ÒWeÕve done everything we could,Ó he told me. ÒWeÕve made sure she made all her sacraments, right through Confirmation. WeÕve always brought her to Mass with us. SheÕs hardly ever missed a CCD class since First Communion. Now she wonÕt get out of bed on Sundays. I feel like I should kick her out of the house, but IÕm afraid that will do more harm than good. IÕm coming to you because IÕm at a loss. What should I do?  What can I do?Ó

I empathized with this manÕs anguish, and I was as much concerned for him as for his daughter. I assured him that he was not failing as a parent, that perhaps he had in fact done everything he could do, that many kids go through a phase of alienation only to return to Church participation as they mature and have families of their own, and that I thought he should support her as she tried to live for own life. I urged him to combine unconditional love for his daughter with the continued hope that she would return to an active role in the Church.

As I remembered this man in my office, I decided to do the math –and I realized with shock that his daughter is now 52 years old!

You see, that distressed father walked into my office in October of 1972. For all I know, that ÒgirlÓ now has the same trouble with her own kids. In any case, I have been hearing from anguished parents about their rebellious teens for more than 30 years.

Why do I tell this story?

Because I have also been hearing the slogan ÒThe youth are the future of our parishÓ for more than 30 years. At first, I believed it – after all I was only 23 and I was flattered that they were talking about me as the future! I was one of the young people they were talking about. It made sense that my generation, the ÒBaby Boomers,Ó were the key to a future thriving church.

But now the Boomers are close to retirement and yet the slogan continues. People said it about us, then about the ÒMe GenerationÓ of the 1980s, then about the Yuppies and the Gen-Xers and now they still say it about the new ÒMillenialsÓ generation.

All these youths were supposed to be the Òfuture,Ó but the future has never arrived.

ItÕs like the store owner who screws a plaque reading ÒFree Ice Cream TomorrowÓ to his wall and leaves it there forever. Sooner or later, the customers figure out that free ice cream will never come, because tomorrow is always a day away.

The Òyouth is our futureÓ slogan is like that plaque. It is a myth, for the future never comes—it is always a few years away. Like all myths, the slogan has a kernel of truth: sooner or later, the post-war generation that came of age in the 1950s will have to pass the torch of church leadership to a younger generation. The trouble is, weÕve never figured out which younger generation we can count on.

Frankly, after 30 years, IÕm tired of hearing Òthe youth is our future,Ó because the slogan has also obscured three other truths:

1. The key transition age for Òpassing the torchÓ is not high school and college. Unless those people continue their participation in parish life through their time as young parents, we tend to lose them. The result is parishes where teens are involved but the 25-40 group is mostly missing. Underlying this is the twin failure to (a) provide meaningful formation after Confirmation and (b) the failure to serve young families (with parents or their children) until the kids reach school age.

2. Not all generations are equal. Up to the Baby Boomers, the tendency was for kids to drop out as teens and young adults, and then return when they had kids. Newer generations are different: they may not return to Church at all, or they drop off kids for religious education and then go off to Sunday brunch. They delude themselves into thinking they can raise Catholic kids without practicing themselves. So we see more and more parish committees, councils, and programs dominated by folks aged 50+.

3. Passing the torch is way overdue.  The wait for a new generation to take over has gone on too long, and time is running short.

But past failures have taken their toll. Most Baby boomers are middle-aged folks walking around with a 16-year-oldÕs faith inside. Is it any wonder they donÕt take it seriously, or feel that investing in parish life will not benefit them? And it's not their fault: almost all parishes have continued to put school-age formation first, and skimped on adult formation, even thought the official church policy since 1971 has urged exactly the opposite—that adult formation should be #1.

We are reaping what we have sown, and there is no sign the prospects are any better for those younger than the Boomers. The sad truth is that over the years weÕve revised and reformed our religious education curricula without ever facing facts: NO curriculum for kids will produce adult Catholics! And no youth program guarantees a yield of active adults.

Where is the hope here? Look back at my point #2. The Boomers are the largest generation in US history. They are retiring earlier wealthier and healthier than anyone before them, they have longer life-expectancy and more free time, and they will soon be 1/3 of the US population. AND they have never done anything the conventional way, so why would we expect their retirement to be like their parents? They are not likely to settle for a short Òterminal vacationÓ before they die, especially since many of them will be retired longer than they worked.

In other words, the Boomers represent the largest untapped labor force in US history. Many organizations are already focusing on this Òthird ageÓ population, planning how to tap their energy and creativity and commitment to help them move their organizations in new directions. But parishes have mostly forgotten them.

Maybe the old slogan was right in the first place? Maybe those Baby Boomers really WERE the future of our parishes? And maybe the Boomers still ARE our future---thirty years later. The only thing that's changed is that theyÕre not so young anymore!

Why not focus on their potential? LetÕs get in gear and offer the formation they need, and re-tool our Boomers for the work ahead—which will, of course, include figuring out a way to reach the youth, since they might SOMEDAY be our future even if theyÕre not there yet!

© Bernard F. Swain PhD 2006

Send Your Comments and Questions to bfswain@juno.com

Dr. SwainÕs opinions do not represent the views of this parish or any other official body.

Bernie Swain has devoted more than 30 years to adult spiritual formation in dioceses in the US, Canada, and France. Since 1991 he has maintained a private practice as trainer, teacher, and consultant to leaders in parishes and other religious organizations. He holds degrees in theology and political science from Holy Cross, Harvard, The University of Paris, and The University of Chicago.

His writings include Liberating Leadership (Harper & Row, 1986) and more than 200 articles in periodicals such as The National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, The Miami Herald, The Catholic Free Press, The Pilot, Harvard Theological Review, and Liturgy.

A lifelong layperson, he lives in Boston with his wife and three children. Visit his website at:

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